Showing posts from September, 2017

103 Very Funny

Breakfast Joke My daughter's 5th-grade class had been studying astronomy. One morning at breakfast she announced, "On Friday we're having a quiz on the moon." That's when her little brother piped up, saying, "Are you gonna let her go, Mom?"
Vacation Joke The Winter Break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She turned to little Johnny and asked what he did over the break. "We visited my grandmother in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania," he replied. "That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word," the teacher said. "Can you tell the class how you spell 'Punxsutawney'?" Little Johnny thought about it and said, "You know, come to think of it, we went to Ohio."

Bus Joke A blonde was walking down the street with her blouse wide open. A policeman walks up to her and asks her "Excuse me, but you have your blouse open." The blonde yells back "Oh no, I forgot my baby on th…

100 Funny Jokes Clean

Teenager Joke "An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can you give me an example of one?" "Sure," a teenage boy replied. "My father's new car."
Men Joke A man writing at the post office desk was approached by an older fellow with a post card in his hand. The old man said, "Sir, I'm sorry to bother you but could you address this post card for me? My arthritis is acting up today and I can't even hold a pen." "Certainly sir,' said the younger man, "I'd be glad to." He wrote out the address and also agreed to write a short message and sign the card for the man. Finally, the younger man asked, "Now, is there anything else I can do for you?" The old fellow thought about it for a moment and said, "Yes, at the end could you just add, 'PS: Please excuse the sloppy hand-writing.'?"
Internet Joke About a week ago, I came acr…

97 Latest Jokes

Computer Joke When I decided to improve my computer skills, I threw myself into it with enthusiasm. Every week I'd check out five or six instructional books from the library. After about a month the librarian commented, "Wow! You must really be getting knowledgeable by now." "Thanks," I said. "How can you tell?" The librarian explained, "Only two of the books you're checking out this week have For Dummies in their titles."
Classmate Joke While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 45 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. "Yes…

90 Make Me Laugh

Student Joke 1. No one fails a class anymore, they're merely "passing impaired." 2. You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed." 3. Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." 4. These days, a student isn't lazy. He/She's "energetically declined." 5. Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive." 6. Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps." 7. Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience." 8. You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness." 9. You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

Book Joke The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Steve came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Merc, I ain't got no crayons." "Steve," Miss Mer…