Apple Boast - Top Animated Comedy | Clean Family Humor Funny Jokes One Liners | Best Stand-Up Comedians
Get ready for some core-level confidence in Apple Boast, where one smug, shiny apple takes the stage to explain — loudly and hilariously — why apples are the top fruit in the bowl.
From roasting bananas to dunking on grapes and reminding everyone they literally started science and religion, this apple isn’t just sweet… he’s savage.
***** SCRIPT *****
Good evening, Fruitizens!
I'm Apple — the OG fruit. The icon. The one your mom packed every single day until you grew up and betrayed me for protein bars and disappointment.
Let’s settle it right here:
Apples are better than all other fruits. Period. Full stop. Drop the fruit knife.
Oh, bananas? Cute. You’ve got one outfit — yellow — and the second it gets a freckle, you’re tossed like a celebrity scandal.
I’ve got variety, baby.
Red Delicious, Gala, Fuji, Granny Smith — I’m basically the Beyoncé of the fruit aisle.
Bananas? They're the Nickelback of produce.
And grapes? Please.
They're just clingy raisins in denial.
They roll in here like, “We’re wine in training!”
Yeah? Well I’m cider, baby.
Hard. Sparkling. Fall-themed.
I’m a whole lifestyle.
Now let’s talk oranges.
They’re just high-maintenance lemons in cosplay.
You ever try peeling an orange on public transport?
You end up with citrus juice on your hands, your pants, and your soul.
Me? I’m low effort. No mess. No drama.
You bite me, I bite back — that’s fair fruit justice.
And let’s address the health nuts out there.
“Apples have too much sugar.”
Buddy, I’m natural. Your energy drink tastes like battery acid and regret.
Meanwhile, I’ve been keeping doctors away since the 1800s.
I have a legacy.
A catchphrase. Do bananas have a catchphrase?
Did grapes inspire the downfall of mankind in a garden?
Exactly.
We started religion. We started Newtonian physics.
We’re basically the fruit version of Beyoncé and the Big Bang.
Try to top that, blueberries. Go ahead. I’ll wait.
So yeah, I get it. You want to try exotic stuff. Mangosteen. Dragon fruit.
But eventually… you come back to me.
Because I’m comfort. I’m balance.
I’m the fruit equivalent of your childhood blanket — if it were crisp, juicy, and ran a fortune 500 company.
So next time you're at the store, faced with choice paralysis in the produce section —
Ask yourself one question:
Do I want trendy… or timeless?
Because me?
I’m not just a fruit.
I’m a core value.
***** END *****
🍎 “I’ve got varieties. Bananas have stages of regret.”
🍏 “I don’t just have a crunch. I have a legacy.”
😂 “I’m not just a fruit — I’m a core value.”
If you love animated comedy, fruity satire, and characters that are just a bit full of themselves — hit play, laugh hard, and stay fresh!
👍 Don’t forget to Like, Comment, and Subscribe for more produce-powered punchlines.
🏷️ Hashtags:
#AppleBoast #AnimatedComedy #FruitHumor #ComedySkit #SaladSatire #TalkingFruit #FunnyApple #FoodComedy #SketchComedy #ParodyAnimation
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