46 Sexy Jokes

Santa Joke

Christmas was over. Santa and his reindeer finally had a chance to rest. And they deserved it. They had done a good job. Rudolph had a chance to do something he had wanted to do for a long time. He made an appointment with a plastic surgeon because he was so sensitive about his looks. However, it wasn't his glowing proboscis that he wanted changed. He was proud of his nose and the help he had given Santa because of it. No, he was sensitive about his long ears which were much more prominent than the ears of the average reindeer, or bear, for that matter. So one week after Christmas, he let the good doctor do the reconstructive surgical procedure, and since that time, January 1st has been celebrated as ... New Ears Day.

Mom Joke

I was horrified to find my son eating out of the sugar bowl. "Don't let me catch you doing that again!" I scolded. He was willing but dubious. "I'll try, Mommy," he told me, "but you're so quiet sometimes."

Vacation Joke

Summer vacation was over and the teacher asked Little Billy about his family trip. "We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota." The teacher asked, "Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?" After careful thought, Little Johnny said, "Actually, we went to Ohio."

Dumb Joke

Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice? Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up? Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.--Mentally Deficient? Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates? Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls? Did you hear about the blonde who went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker? Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?

Hospital Joke

i)How do you tell the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at the mental hospital? The patients are the ones that eventually get better and go home! ii)Why do psychiatrists give their patients shock treatment? To prepare them for the bill.

Pregnancy Joke

Brian’s stress level was at unsurpassed levels. His wife Maggie was in labor and Brian was sure it was time to head to the hospital. Breathing heavily, Brian grabbed the phone and called the doctor. “MY WIFE, SHE’S READY, SHOULD WE COME?” The doctor tried to relax the poor fellow, “just try to relax, now tell me how much time elapses between the contractions?” “SHIRLEY!” Brian screamed on the top of his lungs, “HOW MUCH TIME IN BETWEEN THE CONTRACTIONS? TEN MINUTES? OK, TEN MINUTES IN BETWEEN!” “And is this her first child?” Questioned the doctor. “NO YOU STUPID NITWIT, THIS IS HER HUSBAND!”

Best ever clean santa jokes with hilarious new mom jokes. More humor with crazy vacation jokes and good dumb jokes including amazing hospital jokes. Includes funniest comedy videos.