120 Great Jokes

Shop Joke

One day a blonde walked into a cookie shop to see a small tray full of cookies. The sign said 'free sample' so she took one. The next day the blond was sick and could barely move. She swore revenge upon the cookie shop. She marched back to the cookie shop and burst into the cookie shop and slammed her foot. "Your cookies made me sick!" she screamed, pointing to the 'free sample' tray. "Oh, what are we going to do about that?" said the store clerk, as he bit his lip. "I want my money back!" screamed the blonde.

Manager Joke

There are 3 men and they all want a job at Sainsburys so the 1st man comes in and says to the manager. 1st Man: Can i have a job please. Manager:Yes go and do something dangerous so he does something dangerous comes back. 1st Man: Ive done it. Manager:How many letters in the alphabet. 1st Man:26 Same for 2nd Man. But on 3rd man. Manager:How many letters in the alphabet. 3rd man:24. Manager:why you say that. 3rd Man: Because i just blew up B&Q

Dog Joke

A blonde and her husband are sleeping when the neighbour’s dog starts barks and wakes them up. The blonde sighs, shakes her fist and says 'Wait until you see what I'm going to do to those neighbours!' She runs out of the house and five minutes later she comes back with a smile on her face. The husband asks 'So, what did you do?' The blonde says 'Well, I took the dog from their yard and I put it in our yard to see how they like it having the neighbour’s dog barking all night.'

Palace Joke

Baldulf, the medieval soothsayer, prophesied to the king that his favourite mistress would soon die. Sure enough, the woman died a short time later. The king was outraged at the soothsayer, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman's death. He summoned Baldulf and commanded him, 'Tell me when you will die!' Baldulf realized that the king was planning to execute him straightaway, no matter what answer he gave. 'I do not know when I will die,' he cleverly answered finally. 'I only know that whenever I do die, you will die two days later.'

Salad Dressing Joke

“You name it, we’ll make it!” Was the big sign outside the new restaurant on 13th Avenue. “There is no food we can’t make for you!” “Excuse me sir”, said a man with a heavy Russian accent to the waiter, “I would like please, A Garden Salad vith Russian dressing.” “RUSSIAN DRESSING?! Screamed the head cook, “I’VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF RUSSIAN DRESSING! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO GIVE THIS GUY? “Don’t worry,” said the owner to the cook, “I’ll take care of everything, you just make the salad.” And that’s how it happened that two minutes later the waiter walked out with a big Garden Salad and a picture of a Russian man putting on his pant.

Best short funny shop jokes with hilarious new manager jokes. More humor with crazy dog jokes and good palace jokes including amazing wife jokes. Includes pure comedy videos.