112 Funny Jokes Short

Friends Joke

There were three blondes stranded on a island far, far away. They saw a magic bottle floating on the water. They retrieved it and they went ahead and rubbed it, a genie came out and said “thank you very much ladies". The genie said, "just letting me out, I will grant you all one wish and one wish only", so all three blondes were really excited. The first blonde said "I want to be rich and have a big mansion with a big swimming pool, and poof, she was gone having a good time. The second blonde said, "I want to be a millionaire and own a plane with a cute husband to take care of me and travel the world", and poof, she was off with her husband having a good time. Then the third blonde was so sad that her friends left, and the genie asked, "what is wrong?". The blonde said, you know what I wish? "I wish my friends were back here with me", and poof, the other two blondes appeared, and all there were back together again.

School Joke

Teacher: George, go to the map and find North America. George: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? Class: George! 

Teacher: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. Willy: Me! 

Substitute Teacher: Are you chewing gum? Billy: No, I'm Billy Anderson. 

Teacher: Alfred, how can one person make so many mistakes in one day? Alfred: I get up early. 

Teacher: Didn't you promise to behave? Student: Yes, sir. Teacher: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't? Student: Yes, sir, but since I broke my promise, you didn't have to keep yours. 

Teacher: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty? Tommy: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.

Mental Joke

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27. She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him that the room is empty. "Good," says the man. "That means I must have really escaped."

Fan Joke

An ardent fan of the actress Marilyn Monroe visited a psychiatrist and said, "Doc, I'm worried. I have the entire ceiling and all the walls of my bedroom covered with Marilyn Monroe calendars." "That doesn't prove there is anything wrong with you", said the doctor. "But there must be," insisted the patient. “I sleep on my stomach."

Irish Joke

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman were in a pub, talking about their sons. My son was born on St George’s Day,” commented the English man. “So we obviously decided to call him George”. “That’s a real coincidence,” remarked the Scot. “My son was born on St Andrew’s Day, so obviously we decided to call him Andrew.” "That’s incredible, what a coincidence, "said the Irishman. ”Exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake."

Writer Joke

Bill loved to write. He wrote articles, compositions, poems, anything he could think of he wrote. Although he tried desperately to have his hard work published he was never able to find anyone interested. It was after a year of not seeing one of his friends that he bumped into him at a supermarket. “Harry am I glad to see you! Do you know that my readership doubled since I last saw you!?” “Congratulations!” Said Harry barely glancing up from the meat he was examining, “nobody told me that you got married!”

Best short funny friends jokes with hilarious new school jokes. More humor with crazy mental jokes and good fan jokes including amazing irish jokes. Includes pleasant comedy videos.