100 Funny Jokes Clean

Teenager Joke

"An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can you give me an example of one?" "Sure," a teenage boy replied. "My father's new car."

Men Joke

A man writing at the post office desk was approached by an older fellow with a post card in his hand. The old man said, "Sir, I'm sorry to bother you but could you address this post card for me? My arthritis is acting up today and I can't even hold a pen." "Certainly sir,' said the younger man, "I'd be glad to." He wrote out the address and also agreed to write a short message and sign the card for the man. Finally, the younger man asked, "Now, is there anything else I can do for you?" The old fellow thought about it for a moment and said, "Yes, at the end could you just add, 'PS: Please excuse the sloppy hand-writing.'?"

Internet Joke

About a week ago, I came across an Internet advice column that told me how to eliminate the paperwork clutter on my desk. GREAT! So I printed out the five pages of how-to instructions, and placed them on top of the rest of the stuff on my desk. Now I can't find them.

Mirror Joke

The patient thought he was dead. His psychiatrist had him stand before a mirror and repeat many times, "Dead men don't bleed." Then he stuck a pin in the patient's finger and made it bleed a little. "See now?", the doctor said triumphantly. "Yes, I see now", the patient replied, "dead men do bleed."

Bird Joke

So there's this man with a parrot. And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll get you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush. At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on." The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

Inheritance Joke

Brian walked into work and saw his coworker looking particularly sour. “Hey what’s wrong buddy?” His friend looked up with a forlorn expression on his face. “You remember last month how my Grandmother’s sister passed on and left me $2,000?” “Yes,” said Brian nodding his head. “And you remember how the month before that her brother passed on and left me $5000? “Uh huh” said Brian again. “Well this month is almost over,” said the coworker with a wave of his hand “and………………..NOTHING!”

Best short funny teenager jokes with hilarious new men jokes. More humor with crazy internet jokes and good mirror jokes including amazing bird jokes. Includes new comedy videos.