76 Funny Clean Jokes

Son Joke

When my son was in the ninth grade, we reluctantly agreed to let him move into the basement. Then I realized how convenient it was to get him to the breakfast table. Before, I used to stand at the bottom of the staircase and scream his name. Now all I had to do was flick the basement light off and on, and he was here. One morning I flicked the switch, and nothing happened. I did it several more times. "I'm on my way," my son called up. "You didn't have to yell."

Camp Joke

It was the first camping experience for Paul. As soon as he had pitched his tent, he went for a hike in the woods. In about fifteen minutes he rushed back into camp, bleeding and dishevelled. "What happened?" asked a fellow camper. "I was chased by a black snake!" cried the frightened Paul. The camper laughed and retorted, "A black snake isn't deadly." "Listen," groaned Paul, "if he can make you jump off a fifty-foot cliff, he is!"

Boy Joke

A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?" "Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," replied the boy's father. His friend thought for a moment and responded, "That's a rather strange ambition to have for a career." "Well," said the boy's father, "he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"

Math Joke

Doctor : "What is three times three?" Person 1 : 274 The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and asks the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" Person 2 :"Tuesday," The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?" Person 3 : "Nine" Doctor : "That's great! How did you get that?" Person 3 : "Simple just subtract 274 from Tuesday."

House Joke

Two blondes thought they would save money by re-siding their house themselves. After assembling all the necessary materials, the 1st blond put on a nail bag and started pounding in nails. As the 2nd blonde brought over another piece of siding, she watched the 1st blonde take out a nail, look at it, and then throw it over her shoulder. The next nail she pounded in, after looking at it first. The 2nd blonde watched this routine for some time, and finally asked the 1st blonde why she was throwing some of nails over her shoulder. The 1st blonde said that when she pulled out a nail from the bag & looked at it, if the point of the nail was facing her, the nail had to be defective! The 2nd blonde said "Those nails are not defective. They're for the other side of the house!

Anniversary Joke

Bill’s second Anniversary was coming up and if there was one thing that got his wife Suzy upset, it was not getting a thoughtful gift on a special occasion. Bill quizzed all his friends, co workers, clients and anyone he happened to bump into, as to what would be a good anniversary present. He finally settled on a huge bouquet of flowers. Not willing to trust himself to pick out the right flowers, Bill called up a local flower shop with strict instructions to deliver the biggest most beautiful bouquet of flowers first thing in the morning with the following note “Happy Anniversary Year Number Two!” The morning of the Anniversary Bill made sure Suzy would be the one to answer the door as he waited anxiously in the other room. “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ALL ABOUT?!” Hollered Suzie angrily holding up his well thought out note, “Happy Anniversary You’re Number Two!”

Best ever short hilarious funny clean son jokes with hilarious new camp jokes. More humor with crazy boy jokes and good math jokes including amazing house jokes. Includes clever comedy videos.